Vegan, what is a Vegan....
Oh my, Vegan not me! what is a Vegan?
My daughter came home from university and declared herself a Vegan! "what on earth is a Vegan?" - the answer was simple - "no animal products - nothing" - so no meat no milk no cheese no eggs no fish no nothing!
Well that was thirteen months ago, how times change. In April I was pulled down by Transverse Myelitis! An inflammation attack on the spinal chord, which resulted in me becoming paralyised - a T4 - I lost everything below my fourth vertebra below the neck! and after six weeks in hospital my doctor translated the prognosis as "we will know how well you will do by how well you do" get that! basically "nothing' "we know nothing and we will tell you nothing"
Roll the clock forward nine months, oh how the scene has changed. I have now recovered somewhat, but what can I do to help me increase my chances to improve? to make a full recovery - w4e all know the answer - diet, exercise and a state of mind! I have a strong state of mind, I can go to therapy or the Y two, three, four times a week but what about diet?
Do we ever change our diet? I like my steak, a roast chicken, a meat lovers pizza.... love it all and most of all that full breakfast on a Sunday with eggs and bacon.
But to change your diet something has to change! out with the red meat!, isn't milk full of chemicals? so out with milk and cheese - ouch sounds like a Vegan.
Since Christmas we are very much "realistic vegans" - in with the soy milk, vegan margarine, whole wheat bread, bean chilies, green salads, NO Cheese. We have maintained some fish in our diet and will occasionally eat meat.
It is way too early to say anything positive has occurred in our health, but it feels good, we are sleeping well. But if I can change my diet any one can, and it seems to make sense - everything we knows says - less sugar, less 'fat', less chemicals, less processed stuff, less volume, more natural, more fruit and vegetables - the better... we all have to do it for ourselves. Just make the call ourselves. It is HARD! never in the history of man has so much food been available, and it is just there to be had! We have to change our thinking and our own self-control. The Vegan model really helps to apply some very good boundaries. I for one will try.
Long live the 21 bean chili!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Transverse Myelitis Two
January 13 2009
It's been nine months since I was admitted into hospital and five months since we came back from Hilton Head, much has changed some for the good and some for the bad.
I seemed to make such a great improvement in the three weeks we were in Hilton Head. At the end of July I had started to get some movement in my left leg (move a toe, move the knee cap) and by the time I had spent three weeks lying out in the pool I could comfortable get in and out of my wheelchair to the floor, clearly my stomach muscles were recovering. It felt as if I was on the way to making a full recovery, just time. The wonderful thing of being in the house at Hilton Head was the ability to have a shower. Everything was on the ground floor and I was able to put my shower chair in the shower and move from one wheel chair to the other and have a blissful wash. Back home I was once more constrained to the main floor where we have no shower. However the weather was nice and the boys would wheel me around the house down to the back where I could access the swimming pool and continued to swim or rather wallow and do my exercises in the water. Getting back up from the pool as we are on a steep hill was always much more challenging, really needed two to push the wheelchair uphill over the lawn.
As we moved into September I was still confined to my study on the main floor were I had a double bed and to the small cloakroom served as my bathroom. At therapy I was making major progress and was able to stand in the parallel bars. One Saturday I decided to try and get upstairs by moving backwards on my butt! and managed to clambered up the stairway on my bottom one step at a time. Once I reached the landing I crawled by pulling myself along the wooden floor into of bathroom and actually into the bath! My goodness I could have a bath! And I did. From then it became a daily excise and I also started to sleep in my own bed for the first time, it was wonderful.
Now that I was back upstairs I set a new routine upstairs at seven, toilet, bath then bed. This might seem simple but for me during that period it was a 2 hour ordeal. I had no recovery in the ordeal of bowel and bladder and still need to cath every 4-6 hours (cathing is inserting an eighteen red rubber tube to extract urine). But an ordeal that seems so much better in the privacy of my own bathroom rather than in family cloakroom. Plus the depth of relaxation of a deep bath was so pleasurable in a life devoid of pleasure.
It was mid October that I walked for the first time. It was our first bowling travel league outing with the kids. I run a monthly bowling league (or at least I did last year) where 20 kids from our weekly league compete against other bowling Lanes. This first match was away at the Park Lanes in Charlotte North Carolina where we arrived at 1230 but it was soon clear by the lack of handicapped car parking spaces and the age of the building I was not going to get in with my wheelchair. Suzanne parked the car next to the front door, the only option was to try and walk in. Sure at rehab I had walked down the parallel bars and my transfers from my wheelchair were greatly aided by the small movement that was returning to my legs. But if I managed to get into the bowling alley this would be my first real attempt at walking. I only had to climb two stairs and walk about a dozen strides to the nearest table but with Suzanne's shoulder it was accomplished. I had walked or as I like to describe it 'wobbled".
Therefore six months after being admitted to hospital I was now sleeping in my own bed, having the bath daily which now that I could stand changed to a shower and was able to move slowly around the house. It seemed as if my tribulations were over. I even stopped using my show chair over the toilet and celebrated by selling it on ebay!
I was sure it was now just a question of time, effort and all would be well. As October changed to November the pain started! not the vicious nerve pain that lasted 30 second when I had first come home but constant low grade pain - everywhere. In the legs it was like intense numbness while at the same time tight rubber bands compressed me. No pain medication seems to help. Doctors say nothing, I watched a youTube video of a guy who had suffered this pain for 20 years! the prognosis is a third recover, a third recover somewhat and a third don’t recover. I know I am in the third that recover somewhat and hope it does not stop here.
As January rolls into February I am trying to work somewhat. I can sit for a few hours but normally find comfort in a day bed. Very rarely wear anything other than underpants, as the touch of trousers is very aggressive pain. It is important to have the temperature just right as cold generates pain. It is odd when the dog lies across my legs and not to be able to feel anything, but an ache.
It's been nine months since I was admitted into hospital and five months since we came back from Hilton Head, much has changed some for the good and some for the bad.
I seemed to make such a great improvement in the three weeks we were in Hilton Head. At the end of July I had started to get some movement in my left leg (move a toe, move the knee cap) and by the time I had spent three weeks lying out in the pool I could comfortable get in and out of my wheelchair to the floor, clearly my stomach muscles were recovering. It felt as if I was on the way to making a full recovery, just time. The wonderful thing of being in the house at Hilton Head was the ability to have a shower. Everything was on the ground floor and I was able to put my shower chair in the shower and move from one wheel chair to the other and have a blissful wash. Back home I was once more constrained to the main floor where we have no shower. However the weather was nice and the boys would wheel me around the house down to the back where I could access the swimming pool and continued to swim or rather wallow and do my exercises in the water. Getting back up from the pool as we are on a steep hill was always much more challenging, really needed two to push the wheelchair uphill over the lawn.
As we moved into September I was still confined to my study on the main floor were I had a double bed and to the small cloakroom served as my bathroom. At therapy I was making major progress and was able to stand in the parallel bars. One Saturday I decided to try and get upstairs by moving backwards on my butt! and managed to clambered up the stairway on my bottom one step at a time. Once I reached the landing I crawled by pulling myself along the wooden floor into of bathroom and actually into the bath! My goodness I could have a bath! And I did. From then it became a daily excise and I also started to sleep in my own bed for the first time, it was wonderful.
Now that I was back upstairs I set a new routine upstairs at seven, toilet, bath then bed. This might seem simple but for me during that period it was a 2 hour ordeal. I had no recovery in the ordeal of bowel and bladder and still need to cath every 4-6 hours (cathing is inserting an eighteen red rubber tube to extract urine). But an ordeal that seems so much better in the privacy of my own bathroom rather than in family cloakroom. Plus the depth of relaxation of a deep bath was so pleasurable in a life devoid of pleasure.
It was mid October that I walked for the first time. It was our first bowling travel league outing with the kids. I run a monthly bowling league (or at least I did last year) where 20 kids from our weekly league compete against other bowling Lanes. This first match was away at the Park Lanes in Charlotte North Carolina where we arrived at 1230 but it was soon clear by the lack of handicapped car parking spaces and the age of the building I was not going to get in with my wheelchair. Suzanne parked the car next to the front door, the only option was to try and walk in. Sure at rehab I had walked down the parallel bars and my transfers from my wheelchair were greatly aided by the small movement that was returning to my legs. But if I managed to get into the bowling alley this would be my first real attempt at walking. I only had to climb two stairs and walk about a dozen strides to the nearest table but with Suzanne's shoulder it was accomplished. I had walked or as I like to describe it 'wobbled".
Therefore six months after being admitted to hospital I was now sleeping in my own bed, having the bath daily which now that I could stand changed to a shower and was able to move slowly around the house. It seemed as if my tribulations were over. I even stopped using my show chair over the toilet and celebrated by selling it on ebay!
I was sure it was now just a question of time, effort and all would be well. As October changed to November the pain started! not the vicious nerve pain that lasted 30 second when I had first come home but constant low grade pain - everywhere. In the legs it was like intense numbness while at the same time tight rubber bands compressed me. No pain medication seems to help. Doctors say nothing, I watched a youTube video of a guy who had suffered this pain for 20 years! the prognosis is a third recover, a third recover somewhat and a third don’t recover. I know I am in the third that recover somewhat and hope it does not stop here.
As January rolls into February I am trying to work somewhat. I can sit for a few hours but normally find comfort in a day bed. Very rarely wear anything other than underpants, as the touch of trousers is very aggressive pain. It is important to have the temperature just right as cold generates pain. It is odd when the dog lies across my legs and not to be able to feel anything, but an ache.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
A Kenyan in the age of Obama.
A few days ago I received an e-mail from my Kenyan cousin which joked that Obama's family in Kenya was making plans to lengthen the runway in their village on Lake Victoria so that Air Force One could land safely.
The underlying culture in Kenya is that if you make it good the family (extended) can expect to be taken along. For example if you were to become the major of Nairobi tribe members (all) would expect to be offered jobs in Nairobi. I feel Obama's extended family on the shores of lake Victoria will be disappointed.
Having grown up as a white boy in rural Kenya at the tail-end of the colonial period Kenya is in my heart, soul and body. I speak Swahili, think like a Kenyan and always believed that Kenya's was first. In the early seventies 10 years after independence from British rule the white colonials felt an uneasy sense of the future. Many left for South Africa or Australia but many more stayed. My family stayed but for me things did not work out and at the age of 17 I left for Britain to become a young soldier. 32 years later I find myself an American citizen living in Charlotte North Carolina with a half Kenyan president elect. I like all Kenyan's, am emotional with pride.
The underlying culture in Kenya is that if you make it good the family (extended) can expect to be taken along. For example if you were to become the major of Nairobi tribe members (all) would expect to be offered jobs in Nairobi. I feel Obama's extended family on the shores of lake Victoria will be disappointed.
Having grown up as a white boy in rural Kenya at the tail-end of the colonial period Kenya is in my heart, soul and body. I speak Swahili, think like a Kenyan and always believed that Kenya's was first. In the early seventies 10 years after independence from British rule the white colonials felt an uneasy sense of the future. Many left for South Africa or Australia but many more stayed. My family stayed but for me things did not work out and at the age of 17 I left for Britain to become a young soldier. 32 years later I find myself an American citizen living in Charlotte North Carolina with a half Kenyan president elect. I like all Kenyan's, am emotional with pride.
Merry Christmas
Here’s wishing you and your family a merry Christmas and a safe and rewarding 2009.
I think we will all be glad to see the end of 2008. For us it was a particularly bad year, and if I had to choose a year to spend in bed, this would have been it. In April I was diagnosed (cause unknown) with Transverse Myelitis, a rare syndrome affecting the spinal cord. I spent 9 weeks in hospital. I was hit at the fourth vertebrae below the neck and was completely paralyzed. The prognosis was poor only a third recovering completely, another third getting no recovery. Here eight months later – I seem to be lucky and am making steady progress to what I hope will be a full recovery, but only time will tell. I am very thankful to my family and friends for all the wonderful support they have given me though out the year.
I did close my business in June, but hope I will be well enough to re-start it again in early 2009. Lets all hope the new year can restore our positive and confident spirits!
Regards Raymond May
I think we will all be glad to see the end of 2008. For us it was a particularly bad year, and if I had to choose a year to spend in bed, this would have been it. In April I was diagnosed (cause unknown) with Transverse Myelitis, a rare syndrome affecting the spinal cord. I spent 9 weeks in hospital. I was hit at the fourth vertebrae below the neck and was completely paralyzed. The prognosis was poor only a third recovering completely, another third getting no recovery. Here eight months later – I seem to be lucky and am making steady progress to what I hope will be a full recovery, but only time will tell. I am very thankful to my family and friends for all the wonderful support they have given me though out the year.
I did close my business in June, but hope I will be well enough to re-start it again in early 2009. Lets all hope the new year can restore our positive and confident spirits!
Regards Raymond May
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Democracy in the selection of Board of Directors
By R Raymond May
1526 Reverdy Oaks drive, Matthews NC 28105 (tel) 704.847.0008
I was asked at a neighborhood get together in November 2008 for my opinion on what was the root cause of this fine mess we find ourselves in at the end of 2008. Interesting, everyone knows it was all caused by the collapse in house prices and the sub-prime mortgages debacle! or was it?
No I said, those were only the first symptoms; the root cause was the wholesale institutional culture of corporate theft that has taken hold. The most clear cut sign is the incredible levels of CEO pay, golden parachutes and most of all pay levels on Wall Street. 17 billion dollars for the 2007 Goldman Sachs bonus pool! Almost equal to the company’s current market capitalization.
One group of the stakeholder club – “management” holds all the cards. The others - Capital, employees, community take what management gives them. There are lots of “good” managements but there are no checks and balances and it is hard to see the good from the “bad” until it is too late.
The only check and balance on management is the Board of Directors. But how is the board put into place and who checks the board? Certainly not the shareholders, but no, it is the same shameless management.
In response to the corporate scandals in 2001-2002, the major U.S. exchanges came up with new director and committee independence requirements, which are intended to enhance board oversight. We use this regulation event to shed light on the effect of board structure on CEO compensation. We find a significant decrease in CEO compensation upon compliance with these requirements. The significant decrease in compensation is due to a decrease in the option-based portion of the compensation. The results suggest that board structure is a significant determinant of the size and structure of CEO compensation.1
None of these changes has addressed the key issue – how do we select and remove a board of directors? Other than having a yes vote to management’s selections for us.
Corporations are so big, and the amount of cash available is just too temping. I remember thinking out loud as a young trader on Wall Street "why are we paid so much?" My boss the future CFO of JP Morgan replied "it is because we are so close to all the money".
During my time on Wall Street I observed two types of people. Type 1 had the corporation, group or businesses interests in mind foremost. Type 2 only had their own interests at heart. Types 2 were definitely the majority and you hoped you did not have to work for one of them. The business seemed cyclical in terms of which type was dominant.
Clearly this mess was caused by the gradual prominence of type 2s. What is the purpose of owning stock in a company where all returns go to management? Why own a company where the number of shares increases at the same speed as profits just to be given to management?
As the US government agrees to bailout Citibank all the talk on the TV shows is on the removal of the Board! but even if we wanted to how would that happen? And how would a new board be selected?
We need real democracy in the selection of Board of Directors!
1. Chhaochharia, Vidhi and Grinstein, Yaniv,CEO Compensation and Board Structure(October 2006). Available at SSRN: http://ssrn.com/abstract=901642
1526 Reverdy Oaks drive, Matthews NC 28105 (tel) 704.847.0008
I was asked at a neighborhood get together in November 2008 for my opinion on what was the root cause of this fine mess we find ourselves in at the end of 2008. Interesting, everyone knows it was all caused by the collapse in house prices and the sub-prime mortgages debacle! or was it?
No I said, those were only the first symptoms; the root cause was the wholesale institutional culture of corporate theft that has taken hold. The most clear cut sign is the incredible levels of CEO pay, golden parachutes and most of all pay levels on Wall Street. 17 billion dollars for the 2007 Goldman Sachs bonus pool! Almost equal to the company’s current market capitalization.
One group of the stakeholder club – “management” holds all the cards. The others - Capital, employees, community take what management gives them. There are lots of “good” managements but there are no checks and balances and it is hard to see the good from the “bad” until it is too late.
The only check and balance on management is the Board of Directors. But how is the board put into place and who checks the board? Certainly not the shareholders, but no, it is the same shameless management.
In response to the corporate scandals in 2001-2002, the major U.S. exchanges came up with new director and committee independence requirements, which are intended to enhance board oversight. We use this regulation event to shed light on the effect of board structure on CEO compensation. We find a significant decrease in CEO compensation upon compliance with these requirements. The significant decrease in compensation is due to a decrease in the option-based portion of the compensation. The results suggest that board structure is a significant determinant of the size and structure of CEO compensation.1
None of these changes has addressed the key issue – how do we select and remove a board of directors? Other than having a yes vote to management’s selections for us.
Corporations are so big, and the amount of cash available is just too temping. I remember thinking out loud as a young trader on Wall Street "why are we paid so much?" My boss the future CFO of JP Morgan replied "it is because we are so close to all the money".
During my time on Wall Street I observed two types of people. Type 1 had the corporation, group or businesses interests in mind foremost. Type 2 only had their own interests at heart. Types 2 were definitely the majority and you hoped you did not have to work for one of them. The business seemed cyclical in terms of which type was dominant.
Clearly this mess was caused by the gradual prominence of type 2s. What is the purpose of owning stock in a company where all returns go to management? Why own a company where the number of shares increases at the same speed as profits just to be given to management?
As the US government agrees to bailout Citibank all the talk on the TV shows is on the removal of the Board! but even if we wanted to how would that happen? And how would a new board be selected?
We need real democracy in the selection of Board of Directors!
1. Chhaochharia, Vidhi and Grinstein, Yaniv,CEO Compensation and Board Structure(October 2006). Available at SSRN: http://ssrn.com/abstract=901642
Friday, November 21, 2008
Black Friday - the collapse of Citibank
November 21 2008
Seems to be another black Friday, Citibank shares trade below $4.00, Bank of America is on the verge of becoming a single digits stock, the once mighty JP Morgan has seen its stock tumble 50% in the last month.
Why is this happening?
One clear reason can be laid firmly at the door of Treasury Secretary Paulson. Lack of Confidence.
I have this picture in my mind of Fort surrounded by bad guys and on the verge of having to give up its defense, all hope rests in the arrival of a relieving force. But a smoke signal is seen in the distance from the relief force saying that they are going home! the Fort will just have to wait for another force to arrive in a few months. This is effectively what Paulson said this week in front of Congress. The TARP [troubled asset relief program] would no longer be used by the current administration to buy bank assets. Whoosh! Shock!
From the moment Paulson said this, commercial mortgage assets, credit card loans assets, auto loans assets on bank balance sheets have seen spreads widen, and once more raising the specter of bank failures.
History will judge Paulson once we have a better view of these events with the advantage of perspective. However Paulson is already trying to write his own version of history, his press conference earlier this week attempted to set out a defense of events surrounding the demise of Lehman as being caused by "insufficient authority" vested in Treasury and the Federal Reserve. This is a tacit admission that the demise of Lehman was a turning point in the crisis and a mistake, one in which ensured this would be a major crisis and one that would be difficult to arrest. For my two cents – history will not judge him kindly.
I for one believe Lehman could have been saved in some form. Lehman's demise taken together with the effective confiscation from equity holders that resulted from the Conservatorship of Freddie, Fannie and AIG has resulted in the equity markets collapsing - there are no buyers of equities. Why would you buy equity when you are unclear what you are buying and risk confiscation by the government?
As the equity market collapsed, holders of equities are forced to liquidate generating even more downward pressure. The final collapse has caused hedge funds that held equities as glorified mutual funds to report large losses and start a stampede of withdrawals from all hedge funds.
So what started as a housing crisis is no longer a housing crisis and those that say in order to fix this crisis the housing market must be shored up are no longer correct. The issues now lie in commercial loans, commercial mortgages, credit cards, auto loans, hedge funds, manufacturers or just about everybody. It is very difficult to see how confidence in balance sheets, businesses and our economy can be restored.
Management of Citi were right in saying that the share price should have no affect on the ability of the bank to operate normally. Oh how we wish this was true! Unfortunately Citi needs to continue to roll over its short-term finances! Who will lend Citi the money? As the share price falls, the price of funding increases, at some point the bank is no longer viable. We have seen this play out many times. But we are at a place now that the only buyer of Citi is the government and we all know the price of that is! So selling Citi shares at $4 seems very rational. Back to Paulson - he's been very inconsistent, very unfair and is provided no leadership - expect a bad weekend!
One last point - the administration has allowed huge financial corporations to be created! We are back to where we were in 1928! before the Glass-Steagall Act that resticted bank holding companies own other financial firms. Is this really a good idea?
Seems to be another black Friday, Citibank shares trade below $4.00, Bank of America is on the verge of becoming a single digits stock, the once mighty JP Morgan has seen its stock tumble 50% in the last month.
Why is this happening?
One clear reason can be laid firmly at the door of Treasury Secretary Paulson. Lack of Confidence.
I have this picture in my mind of Fort surrounded by bad guys and on the verge of having to give up its defense, all hope rests in the arrival of a relieving force. But a smoke signal is seen in the distance from the relief force saying that they are going home! the Fort will just have to wait for another force to arrive in a few months. This is effectively what Paulson said this week in front of Congress. The TARP [troubled asset relief program] would no longer be used by the current administration to buy bank assets. Whoosh! Shock!
From the moment Paulson said this, commercial mortgage assets, credit card loans assets, auto loans assets on bank balance sheets have seen spreads widen, and once more raising the specter of bank failures.
History will judge Paulson once we have a better view of these events with the advantage of perspective. However Paulson is already trying to write his own version of history, his press conference earlier this week attempted to set out a defense of events surrounding the demise of Lehman as being caused by "insufficient authority" vested in Treasury and the Federal Reserve. This is a tacit admission that the demise of Lehman was a turning point in the crisis and a mistake, one in which ensured this would be a major crisis and one that would be difficult to arrest. For my two cents – history will not judge him kindly.
I for one believe Lehman could have been saved in some form. Lehman's demise taken together with the effective confiscation from equity holders that resulted from the Conservatorship of Freddie, Fannie and AIG has resulted in the equity markets collapsing - there are no buyers of equities. Why would you buy equity when you are unclear what you are buying and risk confiscation by the government?
As the equity market collapsed, holders of equities are forced to liquidate generating even more downward pressure. The final collapse has caused hedge funds that held equities as glorified mutual funds to report large losses and start a stampede of withdrawals from all hedge funds.
So what started as a housing crisis is no longer a housing crisis and those that say in order to fix this crisis the housing market must be shored up are no longer correct. The issues now lie in commercial loans, commercial mortgages, credit cards, auto loans, hedge funds, manufacturers or just about everybody. It is very difficult to see how confidence in balance sheets, businesses and our economy can be restored.
Management of Citi were right in saying that the share price should have no affect on the ability of the bank to operate normally. Oh how we wish this was true! Unfortunately Citi needs to continue to roll over its short-term finances! Who will lend Citi the money? As the share price falls, the price of funding increases, at some point the bank is no longer viable. We have seen this play out many times. But we are at a place now that the only buyer of Citi is the government and we all know the price of that is! So selling Citi shares at $4 seems very rational. Back to Paulson - he's been very inconsistent, very unfair and is provided no leadership - expect a bad weekend!
One last point - the administration has allowed huge financial corporations to be created! We are back to where we were in 1928! before the Glass-Steagall Act that resticted bank holding companies own other financial firms. Is this really a good idea?
Crossing the bridge!
November 21 2008
The doorbell just rang. It was the Chesapeake man coming to collect my wheelchair. Who would have thought that a manual wheel chair would cost $6000. Leaving hospital in June I had ordered a wheelchair but cancelled the order as it became clear that I would walk again. So instead of my own wheelchair I have relied on a loaner which came due today.
I did not know he would be coming to collect my chair today. Should I let him have it? It is very useful for anything stressful or long, like voting day or taking the dog for a walk - yes I take my wheelchair!
I let him have my chair!
Therefore I have no crutch any more and have to walk everywhere - what better signal is there.
The doorbell just rang. It was the Chesapeake man coming to collect my wheelchair. Who would have thought that a manual wheel chair would cost $6000. Leaving hospital in June I had ordered a wheelchair but cancelled the order as it became clear that I would walk again. So instead of my own wheelchair I have relied on a loaner which came due today.
I did not know he would be coming to collect my chair today. Should I let him have it? It is very useful for anything stressful or long, like voting day or taking the dog for a walk - yes I take my wheelchair!
I let him have my chair!
Therefore I have no crutch any more and have to walk everywhere - what better signal is there.
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